What Makes a Mommy

Friday, June 22, 2012

I'll be the first to admit that I've fallen prey to being sucked into the blasted Mommy Wars. I'm a pretty straight shooter when it comes to myself so I know it's because of a huge feeling of total insecurity in the role of mommy. (Granted it was SO exponentially worse about 8 months ago!) Needless to say, it's pretty shameful. I don't know if it's the instant information age that we live in or that fact that I am no doubt a Facebook addict (and as we all know anyone & everyone feels the right to give their opinion in whatever way they deem necessary without care or thought of another's individual situations & circumstances on FB;) Regardless of the cause...I got sucked in. Every time I read something about breastfeeding over formula feeding, cloth diapering over disposables, co-sleeping or separate sleep spaces, baby-wearing or not....my mind would spin. I would become OBSESSED with finding out as much information as possible to defend what I was doing with LL. It was exhausting. Tiring. A TRUE WASTE OF TIME! 

Something dawned on me the other day. There's so much more to being a mother than how you feed your child (yeah, formula feeding being demonized was the real kick in the gut for this Momma). I had become obsessed with guilt that I couldn't breastfeed because that was something I so desperately wanted & expected to be able to do for my daughter. That guilt showed itself in defensiveness (sometimes justified, often times not) and sadness & jealousy. But a dear friend pointed out that how long a mother breastfeeds does not determine how good of a mother she is. Before you jump down my throat hear me out. Feeding your child is ONE, just one, responsibility that a mother has. Food provider is just one role a mommy plays.

For me, being Mommy means I am:
a snuggler
a face washer
a smoocher
a teacher
a role model
a bundles (yup that's my name for LL's tushy) wiper
a maid
a chef
a storyteller
an interpreter
a hugger
a guardian
a protector
a cheerleader
a boundary enforcer
a tooth brusher
a rocker
a block stacker
a singer
a prayer-sayer
a guide
a reflection of Christ's love
a woman totally reliant on God's good grace to help me parent the blessing He's lent to Matt & me.

I can confidently say that I adore the short list above (and every other part I couldn't think of right now!) and am pretty darn good at it. :) My almost one-year-old (Ahh! How did that happen???) loves me...honest and truly needs me, milk-filled boobies or not. She comes to me when she's sad, hungry, happy, playful, wanting a story or a smooch, or when she's ready for snuggles, some songs, and rocking to sleep. She comes to me. That's an amazing gift that God has given me that I almost squandered away by foolish obsessions. There's a much needed peace that came with this realization. I was snapped into the present moment...no more looking back. I had wasted so much time dwelling and grieving over what was not that I missed a lot of what was right in front of me. I promise to no longer spend my time wishing for what could have been, for that robs her of a mommy now. I promise not to get bent out of shape when someone tells me formula is crap...for I have a sweet blessing who needs me at this time and in this place. I promise to be present for her sake...God has charged me with that responsibility & privilege. I promise to spend every day trying to show God how grateful I am for His gifts of forgiveness, mercy, grace....and Laura! I promise to think about all the roles I am for LL because of how God has blessed me. May He keep my mindset healthy & focused on what is noble and good!

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

A God-fearing Father

Sunday, June 17, 2012

It's Matt's first official Father's Day and while I know my husband well enough not to feel the need to give him gifts or make a big fuss (He said today that Father's Day isn't about fathers...it's about selling cards!) there are a few things I think he should know. So I'm going to make him a special list. Lists are some of his favorite things in the world. I take for granted what an amazing man I'm married to...what an incredible Christian father Laura has been blessed with. By God's grace alone, Mathew is exactly the type of God-fearing father I always wanted for my husband. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of such a good man.


A God-fearing Father   
                                                                            
Diligent: 2 Timothy 3:14-16 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of...and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

Peaceful: Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.


Humble: Ephesians 4:2 Be humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.   

Forgiving: Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another...forgive as the Lord forgave.

Patient: Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Honorable: Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Loving: 1 John 4:19 We love because He first loved us. 

Faithful: Revelation 2:10 Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.



I have to share this video I dug up from when Laura was just two months old! He was a natural with her from the beginning!

 video

Crunchy Stuff Part One: All About Amber

Friday, June 15, 2012

A few weeks ago I introduced a series on the "crunchier" side of my life. This is the first chunk...all about Amber!

A year ago if you would have told me that I would be on a desperate hunt for a necklace that has magical, fantastical healing properties, I would have committed you to the psych ward. But, my oh my, how things have changed. 

Over the course of the last month I have been on the maddening hunt to find a Baltic Amber Teething Necklace that would fit my chew-things-like-a-busy-beaver daughter. LL had been wearing an amber teething necklace since February, but when May came around, LL discovered said amazing necklace and was constantly chewing on it. Contrary to what most people think...this is most definitely NOT how an amber teething necklace works. It's not a chewbead necklace. I needed to find one that fit her without being too tight that it would snap or being too loose so she could get her chompers on it. Thanks to my ever-faithful crunchy huntress, Tanya, I now have a sleeping sweetie with a beautiful, potent amber necklace around her tiny little neck. 

Why, you might be wondering, have I become such a fanatic? Well, simply put...IT WORKS! While LL wears the necklace her teething rash is lessened, her drooling is virtually nonexistent, and her pain from teething is very, very minimal (as in no Motrin or Tylenol or icky, awful Orajel needed). 

I know, I know, you're thinking it's the placebo effect. Not so much. I even bought a necklace back in February expecting to be able to tell people who swear by them that they were on crack and they don't work. I had to silently eat my own words. Especially during the month of May, LL was a freakin' nightmare of teething & ear infection crabbiness! I now understand why parents lose their minds when kiddos are teething. We didn't have a short enough necklace to put on her that we were convinced was safe so she went without....in the immortal words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, "Big mistake. Huge!" I will never again go without an amber necklace on my little one. 


Here's how these amazing & wondrous little ditties work...

Amber is a natural resin found in Northern European pine trees. This resin contains the highest concentration of succinic acid found in nature...3-8% succinic acid in the average bead. When the beads are worn against the skin, the oils in the amber are heated and released onto the skin, from there it is absorbed into bloodstream (as anything that is put on the skin does). Amber is essentially a topical analgesic found in nature...no synthetic chemicals. (For a more complete description of the process, see www.balticamberteethingnecklace.com). 




Amber necklaces have been studied and shown to:
  • boost the immune system
  • alleviate pain (teething, earaches, sore throats, headaches, arthritis)
  • reduce inflammation
  • natural energizer
Now I'm sure there are moms and dads out there who are concerned about safety. As with anything we use on our precious babes, there are rules for wearing amber teething necklaces. 
  1. Be sure to buy a necklace where the beads are individually knotted. There should be  a small knot in between each & every bead. This ensures that if the necklace were to break, the beads will not all slide off the necklace as they would with let's say, a pearl necklace.
  2. Be sure to buy a necklace that has a screw clasp. These clasps should have plastic screw. These plastic screws are an essential in that they are designed to snap and open under not even half the pressure it would take to cause strangulation. 
  3. When sizing an amber necklace make sure you can fit no more than 2 fingers between the necklace and your child's neck. Too long of a necklace and the child can chew on the beads (see story above ;) or the necklace could get snagged on something.
  4. Buy from a reputable source! Ask you local "green baby goods" store where they buy their necklaces from. Use only well-known sources online: Inspired by Finn or Amber Artisans or Pink Owl Gifts or my local favorite where the infamous Amber Huntress works: EcoBaby & Home. 
Here's my last tidbit of amber knowledge: try to buy a raw, unpolished, light colored, rounded bead necklace. The more skin surface, the better it will work. Give it about a week to really notice the difference. Of course, the first one I bought before LL became a voracious chewer of all things was a beautiful polished rainbow necklace...I'm saving it for when she's older and less...chewy!

Now you know what I know! Seriously, just try it. I'm not being paid by anyone or given even a high five for this post, so you know I really must believe it works to spend my precious free time writing it! Put down the Motrin & Orajel and buy some Amber already!

A Few of My Favorite Things

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Since I became a Mommy so many things have changed. I didn't know any of the tips & tricks that keep mommies sane! I would've laughed at you if you'd suggested a necklace could ease teething pain. I was intent on pureeing all LL's foods for her. I had never heard of the many uses of coconut oil or coconut oil as an actual product. I had no clue what a baby carrier was.  And I wouldn't have touched cloth diapering with a ten foot pole. My how things have changed!


Through the next couple posts I hope to show a little bit of my semi-crunchy life--give you a taste of my hippy, all-natural side that slowly but surely seems to be taking over my life! Below are just a few of my favorite things that are new to me about which I'll be writing over the next weeks! Who knows? Maybe by the end you'll be an amber-wearing, baby-carrying, BLW-er, slathered in coconut oil while drying your cloth diapers crazy mom like me!

New Look and Time to get Serious...Maybe

Sunday, May 27, 2012

So since I have been a SAHM for all of 3 days now, I've decided it's time to declutter everything! I gutted the house as much as I could in a day and had a garage sale at which I actually managed to sell some of my junk...I mean, awesome goods, some of which are still available. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. I cleaned the house top to bottom, wall to wall. I won't begin to describe how badly that needed to be done since we had become the house of viral plague the last 3 weeks! Now tonight it is time to gut the blog. I cut out half of the craziness, cleaned up the background, and made it overall much simpler. Thoughts? Write me a comment or 2 just so I know it's all working...because it would be typical for me that in gutting/cleaning/simplifying things I managed to screw it all up!
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